


Spiraling

by Polyhexian



Series: Humanformers: The Music AU [33]
Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: AU, Humanformers, M/M, POV Third Person, The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known, it's about the communication bro, lots of obnoxious medication talk, there's no sex but they're talking about sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:41:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26432815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Polyhexian/pseuds/Polyhexian
Summary: "Did your therapist change your prescription?"Chromedome hesitated.Rewind narrowed his eyes. "Chromedome. Did your therapist change your prescription?"
Relationships: Chromedome/Rewind (Transformers)
Series: Humanformers: The Music AU [33]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1859230
Comments: 2
Kudos: 28





	Spiraling

Chromedome crawled into Rewind's lap, arms on the back of the couch as he leaned in to kiss him, running his tongue along the back of his lip. Rewind had one hand on his back and the other kneading his ass through his jeans, humming in appreciation, before he pulled back, panting.

"You've been horny a lot lately," Rewind commented, "Did your therapist change your prescription?"

Chromedome hesitated.

Rewind narrowed his eyes. "Chromedome. Did your therapist change your prescription?"

"My therapist didn't change my prescription," he said, carefully, sitting back, and then grimacing when Rewind moved his hands to settle on his hips, a silent _you're not going anywhere._ "I stopped taking them."

"Chromedome!"

"I'm sorry!" Chromedome groaned, "It just- I mean, come on, it murders my sex drive, and-"

"And it makes you _significantly_ less miserable and actively suicidal!" Rewind snapped, "Who cares about your sex drive?!"

"I care!" Chromedome scowled and then rolled away, back down onto the couch, drawing his legs up under him, " _I_ care."

"When did you stop? You can't cold turkey these things, Chromedome, you can get sick, you can get _serious_ withdrawal symptoms, and-"

"And I _know_ what withdrawal symptoms are," Chromedome crossed his arms, "I cut in half a few times over a week. I've been off for like two."

"You've been lying to me for three _weeks?!_ " Rewind gaped, "Why would you _do_ that?! Did you even _tell_ your psychiatrist?"

"No," Chromedome said succinctly, "I've got it under control."

"How many times do we have to go over this? You _don't_ have it under control, you _have_ to let people help you!" Rewind held his hands out, like he wanted to grab him and just _shake_ some sense into him, "Why would you do this?" 

Chromedome set his crossed arms on top of his knees and pushed his nose into his elbow, looking askance. "I'm sorry. I was tired of disappointing you."

Rewind hesitated. "What?"

"Come on, I know you're annoyed at me," he murmured, still averting his gaze, "I've been _trying_. But I'm never in the mood and I can't even get it up half the time when I _am_. It's not fair to you."

Rewind stared at him, hands sinking as he processed what he'd been told. "You think I'm annoyed at you for that?"

"I know you are," Chromedome said, shifting as he tightened his posture uncomfortably, "You keep pushing me away. You don't even tell me when you're going to bed anymore."

"Ah," Rewind said slowly, "I see. Hm." He sank back, carding his hands together over his mouth, frowning. "I didn't realize I was making you feel that way."

"It's fine," Chromedome said, quietly, "I get it. This isn't what you signed up for, I don't want to ask you to settle for something you don't want."

"Domey, no, that- no," Rewind said, appalled, "No, god, that's what you think? Are you spiraling again? Did I not notice?"

"I'm not _spiraling_ ," Chromedome dismissed.

"You are," Rewind said, heart sinking, "You're spiraling and I didn't notice. Damn. Domey, I'm sorry."

"Stop that!" Chromedome snapped, raising his head, "I'm not spiraling!" 

"Domey, you stopped taking your medication and you're having a guilt spiral," Rewind reached for his hands and Chromedome looked away again, "I'm not upset with you. I'm sorry, I've just been- No. I'm sorry. This is my fault."

"It's not your fault, I-"

"No, no, Domey, come here," Rewind hushed, pulling him against his chest, "It is. I didn't realize… I was doing that. This one is on me." 

"I make my own decisions," Chromedome mumbled.

"Chromedome, I _love_ you," he said, drawing him in close, "Sex or no sex. You don't _owe_ me anything, you aren't being _unfair_. I'm not disappointed in _you_."

Chromedome curled his fingers where they lay against Rewind's shirt, fisting the fabric and staring downward, into the vague distance. 

"But you _are_ disappointed."

Rewind tightened his grip, firm and pushed his nose into Chromedome's hair. "Stop. Listen to me. I _love_ you. I would rather you take the medication that makes you not want to kill yourself than have a great sex life. Of course I like sex. _You_ like sex. But I'd rather have you and never fuck again than lose you."

"You mean you'd rather find someone else," Chromedome said, voice so low and quiet that it crackled.

"No," Rewind said, "I'm not trading you out, Domey. I'm not replacing you because Zoloft broke your dick. I would rather never fuck again than lose you."

"That doesn't feel fair," Chromedome murmured, "I feel like I'm cheating you."

"You're not cheating me," Rewind sighed into his hair, "Please go back on your antidepressants. Please tell your therapist you stopped taking them." 

Chromedome huffed, embarrassed. "I mean. I mentioned it, to my psychiatrist, that I didn't like the sex drive thing and she said I didn't have any other side effects and I was doing really well so she didn't want to take me off Zoloft, and then she said she'd give me a prescription for Viagra and I'm like, Christ, I'm _27,_ I can't be taking _Viagra_ already."

Rewind couldn't hold back a startled laugh and immediately regretted it when Chromedome tensed up, clearly embarrassed. "No, no, come on. It's not embarrassing. You didn't break your dick, Zoloft did."

"Of course it is. It makes me feel- I mean, I don't wanna say emasculated, but it makes me feel emasculated. And old! It- it's weird."

"It's not _weird_ ," Rewind soothed, "The low sex drive thing is a side effect of the antidepressants and lots of people take antidepressants. I bet more people take Viagra than you think. It's not weird."

"It feels weird."

"It's not weird," Rewind repeated, firmly, "You have to talk to your psychiatrist though. Either she puts you on something else or you take the Viagra or we both become sexless spinsters but you gotta start taking your antidepressants again, baby."

Chromedome shifted, chewing his lip. "Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay," Chromedome repeated, sagging, "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Rewind murmured, "I'm not mad. I'm just worried about you. I'm sorry you feel like I've been pushing you away. I wasn't trying to, I just- I've been trying not to pressure _you,_ because I didn't _want_ you to feel bad, so I've just been- I've been trying to leave you alone when you're not in the mood."

Chromedome paused, and then tittered with confused laughter. "I'm sorry, have you been jerking off in the bathroom again?"

"More than I'd like to admit," Rewind sighed. 

"Ha- oh, I'm sorry. You don't have to do that. My dick might be broken but that doesn't mean I'm not _interested_ , that I don't _want_ to fool around still. You could at least let me suck your dick once in awhile, huh?"

"I don't wanna do anything you're not gonna get anything out of."

"What, I can't enjoy doing something nice for you? I'm still getting something out of it." 

Rewind frowned uncertainly. "Maybe. If you say so."

"I'll call my psychiatrist," Chromedome sighed, sounding defeated, "I'm sorry."

"Domey, seriously," Rewind said, giving him a squeeze, "I love you. I _love_ you, okay? We'll figure it out."

Chromedome hesitated, before he twisted so he could wrap his arms around Rewind's waist. "Okay. I love you, too."


End file.
